you dont miss it until its gone
by silvenesti shadow
Summary: kagome feels forgotten after kikyo takes her place, what will she do? Inuyasha made his choice, but has he chosen wrong? will he have the guts to make it right if he has? you wont find out unless i update i wont update unless you review!
1. Chapter 1

Kagome slipped quietly from her bedroll, she wasn't worried about waking the others, she took care of that earlier when she had put a sleeping plant kaede had shown her, into the soup she had made, so there was no chance of the others waking….which brought her to what she was afraid of in the first place, with no chance of the others waking up she was afraid to attract the demons which had been plaguing the area they were traveling through…without the others for protection, if something attacked her, she was done for. So very carefully and silently she collected her things, she wanted to get away, go back to her own era, they were only a few shards away from making the Shikon no tama whole…and they were camping for the last time, outside of Naroku's castle , they were planning on attacking in the morning, but Kagome didn't want any part of it, she refused to give her life when Kikyo was already dead and just dying to get her own piece of the action the rest of her so-called "friends" didn't really need her any more, after all Kikyo was there to be their priestess, after all she was the whole package , Kagome had none of Kikyo's great powers , all Kagome was good for was jewel detecting…Kagome just stood still for a moment remembering that awful day when Kikyo had her change of heart and Inu-Yasha made his irreversible decision….. 

flashback:  
Kagome sat up, it was the middle f the night, she was trying to figure out why she had woken-up when she sensed HER soul collectors, and realized she had woken up because Inu-Yasha had left to go see Kikyo. She got up to follow Inu-Yasha, even knowing it was going to break her heart, every time he went to see her it broke Kagome's heart. She slid quietly amongst the trees knowing that Inu-Yasha would be to busy to smell or hear her. As she watched them through the leaves, she knew something was different about Kikyo… something had changed, then as Kagome listened to the conversation she instantly knew what it was.  
"Inu-Yasha, you came, I-I I didn't think you would" Kikyo stuttered, that never happened, Kagome's eyes widened, and a wave of emotion flowed through her.  
"of course I came Kikyo, I will always come, even if it is to my own death…is it today Kikyo? will I finally join you in hell to"  
Kikyo cut him off" No Inu-Yasha! no, I've…I don't want that any more, I desire to give life a second chance, I desire to give life a second chance…with you…" Kikyo had tears in her eyes as she stared into Inu-Yasha's stunned but soft ,caring…..loving face…..they were leaning closer…Kagome couldn't watch she ripped her eyes away and stood to her feet, Kagome refused to be her hurt, she knew they loved each other, she knew she never REALLY had any chance. But even as these thoughts ran through Kagome's head tears were already running down her cheeks. She just snuck back into camp and cried herself to sleep knowing that Inu-Yasha wouldn't be back that night. When she awoke again she was alone ,she smelled soup cooking and fish, she also heard everyone laughing, she went down to the river where she found everyone sitting around kikyo, eating and laughing and enjoying themselves. Kagome came closer and no one noticed her presence, not even kirara. She said good morning and Shipo briefly glanced at her, only when she sat down( rather gruffly) did any one pay her any mind,and then she noticed there wasn't any soup left for her. Kagome was on the verge of tears, but she didn't let any one else know that. She didn't want to appear weak to the people who so obviously didn't really need her any more. Not even Inu-Yasha noticed her moment of complete depression, and utter sadness, he didn't smell the welling tears in her eyes, because he was to busy staring at Kikyo's. Kagome knew that this was the way it was always supposed to be, she was just there as a substitute for awhile. At least Inu-Yasha was happy, that was all that mattered now… later that night Inu-Yasha pulled her aside and "explained things to her"  
"Kagome, look, Kikyo is, and always will be my love, you were a great miko, and …..friend( in a hushed whisper) and I still need you to defeat Naroku, but you will never be anything more than a miko to me." Kagome looked at Inu-Yasha and said :  
" you were nothing more to me than a mangy mutt who protected me from things I couldn't kill with an arrow, and you will never be my friend Inu-Yasha , you were never there when I needed you most, and ya you kept me from being killed, but you never protected from the tears that came when you were with her…and when this is over, I will make sure you never need to come to my rescue again….."

Flashback ended Kagome realized she had only lasted a month after that to leave, but she refused to be invisible to people who had once called her friend because the dead woman she resembled decided that she wanted to live the life that Kagome had chosen to live…it just wasn't worth it, Kagome looked back once more at the people who had left her in the dust, the people who no longer cared for her, the people she still loved so much, and then like she was never there she slipped away….

Inu-Yasha woke with a start, it was almost noon, by the look of the sun, but strangely no one else was up either…he looked around…KAGOME was GONE, dammit , he knew that what he said a month ago wasn't true , but he was hoping against hope he could just pick up where he left off with Kikyo. He knew that Kagome thought he loved Kikyo, but that just wasn't the case any more, every time he looked at Kikyo, every time he kissed her, he was thinking of Kagome…he had wanted this for so long, but now all he wanted was Kagome…now she was gone…and what if now he could never get her back? She'll never know that it was her he loved, if she did she probably would have stayed….now she could be dead…what the hell was he supposed to do.  
To be continued…


	2. havoc

Inuyasha was trying to think clearly as he was becoming more and more agitated . He could not seem to get the others to wake up, it did not occur to him that they could be for lack of a better term "drugged". He could not think of where kagome could have gone and he started to frantically sniff the ground to get a scent of her, when he stopped cold. Inuyasha definitely picked up a scent trail, but it wasn't Kagomes, he went back to the camp because he could not believe that in his desperate search for Kagome he could have missed something so obvious… just as he had expected kagome wasn't the only one missing, kikyo was gone as well. Inuyasha was becoming very upset the woman he loved was gone, kikyo was missing…wait… inuyasha was forming a disturbing thought in his head. A month ago he was so ecstatic to have kikyo back he had not questioned her sudden grasp for the life she once had, and now he didn't believe it was as innocent as it had seemed not so long ago, he began to think what if kikyo had only pretended to change to get to Kagome. What if kikyo was still trying to hurt him, but knew that the only way to truly cause him pain was by harming Kagome…how kikyo would know that he loved Kagome before, he himself knew, didn't matter, only that it was possible. Inuyasha with his golden eyes, stared almost forlornly at the others, but inuyasha had no clue that, that last glance, at the people whom he now claimed as friends , might very well be the last time he saw them…alive…and as inuyasha silently said goodbye, he was already on his way to find kikyo…to find out what she had done to Kagome… 

Meanwhile……

Kagome was back in her own era, (unaware that her presence was sorely missed) it was the first day of summer and as unbelievable as it sounds she had managed to pass all of her classes that year…barely….but she had passed. She had just spent a wonderful day with her friends catching up on all the juicy rumours and stories that she had missed out on, and she was going to see hojo today… everything was finally back to normal, her life was virtually perfect so why did it not feel right, why could she not just put her past behind her? She sat there wondering,…and remembering on the sill of her window staring out at the setting sun, and at the smog of the crowded city…..she couldn't help it, even after how they'd treated her, she missed them dearly, and as she thought about it she could not keep the tears from streaming down her saddened face. Even as hojo rang the doorbell she knew she wasn't going to answer she was going back to the feudal era, to help her friends…whether they needed it or not….

Near Naroku's castle…

Sango opened her eyes, she immediately took in what had happened, sango didn't understand, until she saw the 2 empty bedrolls and then an empty indent in the ground where inuyasha had been sleeping…then she understood they all must have gotten in a fight. So sango patiently starting to clean up the camp, knowing they weren't going to be attacking Naroku any time soon. In awhile the others awoke, and Sango explained what she believed to have happened. So they gathered they're things and went to wait with kaede. As they approached the village Sango felt that something wasn't quite right, there wasn't any noise in the small town, she saw no people, there was no animals….but by then it was too late. Something slammed into the Back of Sangos head, the the rest of the gang was down for the count before they knew what had hit them. Naroku gave a silent chuckle of demented satisfaction. He thought it quite fitting that inuyasha was going to go and kill kikyo to get his precious Kagome back, while everything else that he cared about was being slaughtered. He thought about the victory that would soon be his, as he imagined the look on inuyasha's face when he came to realize what had happened. Naroku thought even deeper on what he was going to do to kikyo and kagome if they were left alive, but his thoughts were cut short as he heard the whiz of the arrow, and the anguished cry of rage, but did not move quick enough because he was shot, then another, and another,….they just kept coming. Then he saw the figure of Kagome standing over him and realized that it was over, that inuyasha had won. But he wickedly relished in the fact that the girls reaction had been much more satisfactory than he could have possibly imagined considering what had been done to her. He was thrilled that the girls rage had been so thoroughly tried, and with a last thought of twisted satisfaction he died.  
Kagome looked around and collapsed in tears, she didn't move she didn't speak for quite awhile, and then without another thought, she got up, determined, but still blinded by her tears, and began to dig graves for the bodies of her friends. As she finished the holes where she was planning to put her friends to rest in, she heard a noise and quicker than ever before she whipped around with her notched arrow, and was stunned to see Sango struggling to get up, Kagome dropped her bow like a hot rock and ran to Sango's aide. In turn all the others were getting up. Kagome was so relieved and thrilled to find that her friends had not yet been killed, but only knocked out, that she had gotten there in time. Later that evening they found the rest of the village alive but in bonds. Naroku had been planning on enjoying these murders, unlike all the others he had slaughtered he wanted this to last, it wasn't about just getting the job done this time, it was about torture. But all were still well and safe and that was all that mattered now. Later that evening in the home of Kaede they all shared they're stories and peiced the puzzle together, and the others were so profoundly apologetic to Kagome that even Kagome herself had had about all she could take of the desperate "I'm soooooooo sorrie's ". But they did not yet understand what had happened to Inuyasha and kikyo.  
But they would soon find out…  
To be continued……

im very sorry for the short chapters, but I cant give everything away in one go…..can I?…. Any way thanks for reading, please review and tell me how im doing, im really new at this, so please don't be to harsh with me! Thanks again and stay tooned for the next episode of " you don't miss it til' its gone"


	3. mistake

As kagome laid in kaede's hut, she was feeling relieved to be back in the feudal era, she had made a big mistake believing that her friends didn't care about her any more…that couldn't have been further from the truth, and now that she knew it she was just happy to be back. But it still felt wrong without Inuyasha, even though she knew he had chosen Kikyo, she still loved him, she still only wanted him to be happy, and even if it hurt her, Kikyo made him happy. So Kagome was going to help them in any way she knew how. She only wished she knew where they had gone…it had now been 2 days since she had returned from her childish trip home, and there wasn't a trace of either of them, everyone was being calm about it but Kagome still couldn't stop the swell of panic rising in her chest….what if Naroku had gotten to Kikyo and Inuyasha first…Kagome kept thinking about all the things that could have happened to them, and when she looked out the window she saw the sun was rising…she had lain awake all night. Kagome knew that something just wasn't right. Here we go again she thought to herself. Kagome then proceeded to collect her things, she was going to go and look for them…on her own. If the others knew what she was going to do they would try and stop her. They all believed that Inuyasha and Kikyo wanted time alone, but Kagome knew better. Kagome was going to go and find them come hell or high water. The demons had seemed to die down in the last couple of days, and after spending some time with Kaede ,Kagome had found knew confidence in her miko powers. As Kagome started her journey she was remembering all the good times she had had with Inuyasha. And then she remembered the words they had shared a month ago…and Kagome found another reason to find Inuyasha and Kikyo, she wanted to take back what she had said. Even though she knew Inuyasha had meant it, she needed him to know that she however had not.

Somewhere close to kaede's village:

Kikyo was sitting in a tree trying to figure out what had taken place, she had sensed Naroku's presence but then it had just disappeared…..but not like before… usually he just vanishes into thin air this time he slowly faded away…..she didn't understand. But what she did understan was what was going to happen between her and inuyasha….she understood what Kagome had done after the third bit of her soup, but by then it was to late….she knew that inuyasha may have said that he loved her , but Kikyo knew that that was no longer true….she saw the glassy look in inuyasha's eyes whenever they were together…Kikyo knew that he was looking at her but imagining Kagome….it wasn't like she was dumb…and she knew that as soon as Inuyasha woke up he was going to go looking for Ka-…..Kikyo's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of whirring air.  
"KIKYO! Where is she?" shouted a frantic inuyasha "Inu-" Inuyasha grabbed Kikyo by the robes, and interrupted "I don't want to hear anything out of your mouth except the directions to Kagome"  
"I do not have her Inuyasha…have you-" again Inuyasha abruptly stopped her …  
"You are more despicable than Naroku… you used an innocent girl to get to me!"and with that Inuyasha raised his sword……and heard the cry of protest he had been expecting…..but he did not see Kikyo's lips move…and the voice…wasn't hers…but by then it was to late….as Kkyo's body fell Kagome appeared behind her…..inuyasha realized his mistake as he sunk to the ground in despair

Sorry for another short chapter, but its just no fun if its only 3 chapters!don't worry theres only one more chapter any way…..thanks for reading…pleeeease review!….this time I refuse to post the last chapter until I get 5 more reviews!and I don't care if they aren't nice…..I just need reviews to know how im doing and what I can improve on……thank in advance for all youre help! 


	4. writers block

a/n: sorry it taking meso long to update…but ive run head on into a writers block…wall actually…and I was hoping for some ideas on what I should do next…so please review and give me some new material…I had an entire plan laid out for my next chapter but I cant seem to actually write it so I would really appreciate some help! Ttfn! 


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